Jhonen's Irksome Creations: Attack of the Restless
by the Star-Seal
Summary: We saw Jhonen beat the hell out of HellFans and blasted the devil with evil powers. But he never dreamed he'd have to face THESE angry enemies too. Finished!
1. A Little Interuption

_StarSeal: Hello.this is my latest idea. I promise I'll stop starting stories without planning on ending them any time soon, but I needed feedback for this. Yes, I do realize that just about everyone's out of character. But they'r e pissed off! Everyone acts different when they've lost it. And sorry I'd do anything mean to Jhonen. but i'm a greedy sucker and I want more of his stuff. If you like the whole, "Jhonen interacting with his creations" thing i suggest you read the story at http/ It also touches on the horrors of fanfiction. Also, any of you who have written stories that I mention below, don't take offense. just consider what Zim or Nny would think if you told THEM, and you'll see why some of us are irked. Okay, here it is._

A thin, orange-haired man sat in his swirly-chair, happily playing Halo II. The doorbell rang. He ignored it.

It rang again. "Not now," he muttered, I'm in the zone!" He gnashed his teeth and shot a bunch of head-exploding alien babies. The doorbell came again, accompanied by a knock. Still he played his game. Then a voice came- a voice that was somehow familiar. "Jhonen!" It shouted. "Open the damn door!" Jhonen blinked and glanced back. Was it another hellfan? Whoever it was, it couldn't be more important that Halo II.

SMASH. The door shot across the room, blasted from its frame by balls of greenish energy.

"What the hell-?" He jumped up and stared at the hole in the wall. "Oh, God…"

Silhouetted against the light of a streetlamp outside stood the forms of a group of oddly assorted people, only their eyes glowing through the black. There was a tall, dangerously thin man standing besides a fuzzy bear-like creature, an antenna-ed person flanked by a short, red-eyed metallic thing, a tiny bunny-ish creature, a wire-thin person with a noodly thing coming out of its head, and a large, round thing that was vaguely like a bull.

"Hello, Jhonen," said the thin man coldly. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Jhonen squinted. "Wait- I do know all of you! You're… but how the hell…"

Happy Noodle Boy stepped foreword. "What the hell have you been doing? No cheese bees in my noodle for years! Why the fooking hell have you abandoned us, Nathaniel!"

Nny nodded. "Like he said. What the hell have you been doing? I haven't killed anyone since JTHM: Director's Cut! Do you have any idea how many assholes are running around that I can't skin?"

Filler Bunny was next. "I've been in that burning fluid for, like, I don't know how long and no one's even enjoying it! Killer Bunny isn't even shooting me! He got so bored he swallowed Aborto and ran off!"

Shmee scowled. "Why hasn't anything scared Squee lately? I'm starving because there's no sickness around! And there's nothing to do in that infernal comic but talk to HIM all day!" He pointed to Piñata Monster.

"Who's he?" Jhonen asked, squinting.

"What the hell! I'm only the greatest monster in all the Meanwhiles! So you thought you'd just make me and leave it at that? What happens, dammit! Do I bust all the blood candies out of everyone or what?"

Gir's eyes were still red. They turned aqua suddenly. "Taquitoes! So long… no… taquitoes… Why! I want piggies!"

Zim gnashed his zipper teeth. "He's been doing that ever since we went off the air. You can't just quit like that, dammit! I wanted to rule the Earth! You could have at least made that trial thing, where HE does for me! Do you know what's happened since you quit? HAVE YOU READ THE FANFICTIONS? THEY'RE HOOKING ME UP WITH DIB! THEIR MAKING HIM" (Nny) "FALL IN LOVE! What the hell- do you have any idea what we've done!"

Jhonen blinked. "Yes."

"AND YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING? YOU SICK FREAK!"

"Look," said Jhonen, "I know I havn'te worked with any of you for a while-"

"Oh, there's an understatement! You haven't worked on ANYTHING for a while! And what do you think happens when fans don't get their mindless entertain-meats? They make disgusting plots of their own! Is Zim even capable of love!"

"No, I was going to-""

"GOING to? GOING to? You were GOING to tell the masses all that stuff! THEN WHY THE HELL DIDN"T YOU!"

Zim stood a tall as he could. Which was still pretty pathetic. "People have written stories about Irkens without PAKS! About Gaz being nice to Dib! THEY'VE MADE UP CHARACTERS JUST SO I COULD SLEEP WITH THEM!"

Jhonen sighed. "Look. There were twisted stories about all the other good cartoons before they went off the air. People just have sick minds, okay?"

"That's not good enough, Vasquez." Nny's voice was creepily soft. " We're sick of lying around in your mind hoping you'll use the ideas we're in. It's time for something new!"


	2. Yada Talk

**Whee! Nothing like eleven P.M. typing to kill depression since your dog died, eh? Anyway, sorry it took so long, but here it is. The latest chapter. I'm glad you like what's happened so far. I would pay alot of money for this if Jhonen made his creations come and yell at him to finish. That's why I'm writing it. Please have fun. Oh, and since I've been getting minor notes- Dib's not in it because I already have two characters from that world, each world has a representitive- Which is why Noodle Boy is there, but not Wobbly Headed Bob. And no one's from I Feel Sick because I haven't read it yet.**

Jhonen stared at his surprisingly serious creations. He began wondering if the Funyun/Pez experiments were doing things to his mind. Not unlikely. He glanced back at the T.V. "Look, guys, I'm sorry you're bored, but you have no idea how horrible it is to write all these comics. They have deadlines, and shading, and insomnia's involved-"

Zim shook his head. "Oh, come on! I spent my entire life having people hate me! You think I ever complained about being an invader? Taking over the Earth is hard work! And now I never get to see it done except in creepy, twisted fanfics!"

"Yeah, well, I kinda designed you so you don't have to eat or sleep, y'know…"

Zim blinked. "Uh… okay. Wait- no! What about him? He's driving me nuts! Why did you have to make me lie in wait in you DISGUSTING human mind with HIM of all people!"

Gir giggled.

Jhonen's mouth twitched. "I thought it was funny."

"Look, Jhonen," said Piñata Monster, "it's not just that we're bored. Because watching them was kinda funny." Zim gave him a thanks a lot look. "But you still have all these great ideas about us- or at least them- and you're not doing anything with it. We're sick of living in thoughts and napkins. We want action. We want to see someone do something."

"But I already gave you all excellent lives. What more do you want?"

Shmee snorted. "Perhaps, but it's not like you can't continue. That's why we're here. Did you notice by any chance that Lenore is still having fun? Why the hell do weirdoes like Mr. Gosh and company still have active lives! If you were going to make us all so damn popular, then you should have kept us alive longer."

"Hey- you leave Roman out of this," Jhonen snapped. "It's his choice to keep doing comics if he wants. And I've made enough."

Filler Bunny nodded. "Invader Zim, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee, Filler Bunny, Wobbly Headed Bob, Happy Noodle Boy, Meanwhiles and that stuff, I Feel Sick, Everything can be Beaten, the Bad Art Collection… that's eleven. Eleven morbidly hilarious products. But that doesn't mean you can just quit, dammit! We need endings!"

"Would you all be happy if I just made a crap-comic overnight about how you and everyone else get nuked and die horrible, painful deaths?"

Nny smiled grimly. "If it was funny and SLG published it."

Shmee nodded. "And if you had lots of dumb notes along the borders."

Filler Bunny: "And had those creepy lines around the eyes."

Noodle Boy: "And used your fancy, wavy line borders."

Zim: "And made it clear that Irkens, Nny, are incapable of love, and all the other stuff, to silence the fanficcers.

Jhonen blinked. "You're all serious about this."

"Yes. Yes we are." Zim nodded.

Gir: "And Mexican food!"

Nny kicked him. "I want to kill a lot of people."

"And I think it's only fair that I kill Dib."

"And can I die in the arms a friend who doesn't get shot?"

"MEXICAN FOOD!"

"And I suppose I'll want to get blood candies from at least two kids."

"Lots of screaming madness!"

"And Squee gets scared of all the inevitable sickness. And I can eat it."

Jhonen ground his teeth. "Look, it's not that I wouldn't

Enjoy a chance to laugh at your pain, but I just can't keep this up!" He pointed at each one in turn. "You- you got me all this horrible fan mail on what should happen in your mini-strip. You- you made me slave over your comic all night, and made me retarded. Again. You made me connect with icky Nickelodeon people. You made people call me a 'Goth king'. And all this fame makes people talk about me, and not even get my name right! What the hell! Do you have any idea what it's like to have fans!"

"I don't care. From what I can see, you seem to get sick pleasure from starting a cult just to quit!"

"Hey, don't tell me I never finished your series, Zim! I made that comic for Nick's magazine! You ruled the Earth, remember?"

Zim's eyes glazed with glee. "Giant… Alien… Bunnies… Wait- No! None of your Jhonen-y mind-games! That doesn't count because No one got hurt, and there wasn't enough screaming."

"The whole thing was screaming!"

"LIAR!"

Nny rolled his eyes. "Well, it doesn't seem like standing around arguing is getting us anwhere, and we came straight here and are in want of foodening. So let's end this now."

Jhonen raised an eyebrow. "Meaning what?"

**So... that's it for now. All that time and they just stand around talking. Oh, well. I will continue on this, though, promise. Never let it be said I'm one of those freaks that won't update.**


	3. Weaknesses known to Man

**StarSea: Gasp! It's already up! Well, we finally get some action in. I'm really enjoying this. I hope you like reading it as much as I did writing it. If you want to see something (besides characters that I left out for a reason), just leave me a comment.**

Piñata Monster lifted the club that still had dried blood on it. "Either you keep us sane by giving us what we want, or we lose it and kill you."

Gir gasped. "That not nice!"

Zim shoved him out of the way as his spider legs unfolded. "Okay, maybe we won't, but we can make you write us stuff."

Jhonen's glass-covered eyes narrowed. "Hey, just because I enjoy giving my characters really awesome weaponry doesn't mean you can defeat me. I still have y entire base- hey, how did you get here anyway? This is a hologram of my house. We're in space."

Piñata Monster snorted. "No duh! That WAS a Meanwhile, after all! And if you didn't want us bothering you at home, you shouldn't have given Zim a spaceship."

"How the hell did you all fit in that ship without killing each other?"

"It… wasn't… easy," Nny grumbled, glaring at his short companions. "But we're here now, and we want comics."

"This is insane! I created you! Don't you think I could take you on? I turned into a freaking cyborg in the end of I Feel Sick! By the way, why isn't anyone from that here?"

"I'vn't read that," said Gir blankly. Jhonen blinked.

"Uh, what?"

"Never mind that!" Snapped Shmee. "Let's end this now!"

The creations shifted into uber-kewel Matrix-style stances, ready for the fight. Jhonen tapped a button on the wall and was enveloped by Happy Noodle Armor as the ship's disguise fell off.

StarSeal: And after an epic battle involving squids, pigs, bees, and monkeys- and a moose- Jhonen managed to brainwash his characters once and for all and sent them to do horrible things to the fan authors.

Scapegoat: Hey, that's not how it happened! Tell it right.

StarSeal: Dammit, quit finding my lies. Okay, fine, on with the story. Curse you, Scape.

Zim lunged forward first. He swung a clawed spider-leg at the armored cartoonist, who dodged Matrix-style and somersaulted into the short alien. Yess, I did call Zim short. Poor Zim. He grabbed the spider-legs from the base and wrenched back. Zim gasped as his Pak was ripped out of his spine. Jhonen tossed the pod away and Zim ran to retrieve it. Nny stepped forward and Jhonen barely had time to pull out a steak knife that he had on his person for absolutely no reason and they had a sweet dagger fight. Jhonen maneuvered almost as quickly as his slim foe and managed to knock Nny off balance, pushing him away since his boots were uncomfortable and not good for slick maneuvers.

Piñata Monster raised his club and sent Jhonen against a wall, gasping as the Happy Noodle armor quaked around him. He threw a knife at Shmee, pinning him against his horrible Jhonen-smelling couch from back when he worked on Zim, just in case. Jhonen dodged Piñata Monster's second swing- being a giant piñata makes you a little slow- and pulled something out of a drawer. He flicked on the lighter and thrust it against Piñata Monster's broad chest, which burst into hungry flames. As he staggered back, beating it with his nubby arms, Noodle Boy and Gir ran forth. Jhonen pulled out a gun and shot Noodle Boy in the head, redecorated his wall in the process (Beware of Moose), but that gave Gir time to pull out his full head artillery. As the lasers and rockets glowed red, charging, Jhonen tossed an old soda can across the floor. The artillery sank into his head, lighted body parts turning blue and ran happily after the prize.

Jhonen pulled off his helmet and laughed. He saw Zim grudgingly replacing his Pak, while Gir sucked the soda can and Piñata Monster leaned, panting against the wall- a hole burnt in his chest with blood candy beneath. Noodle Boy slumped against the wall, his forehead growing back, and Shmee was taking out a stick so he could free his arm. Nny gave his boot a moody tug. Filler Bunny didn't do anything because he's so cute and pathetic. Poor little guy.

"You see?" Cackled Jhonen. "As the one who made you all, I know your weaknesses- whether it be low attention spans, uncomfortable boots, vital un-organic organs, a tendency to get shot, easily pinned against the wall, or even being made of flammable cardboard- your every physical flaw was specifically created for the day you tried to usurp my palace of blood."

"Okay, Jhonen," panted Nny, "You won this time. But next time, next time we'll be ready for whatever you come up with."

**Dun Dun DUN! It's over! Short but sweet. Now however will they defeat that guy? No one knows! Except me, of course. And the psychic fat. That is so disgusting- I can't believe he even made that up. And you know what that means, is that I found i Feel Sick just after writing this, and a new character is coming soon! But who shall it be! Whatever. New one comeing soon. And sorry about the interuption up there, and Gir's reference to the fact that I hadn't read I Feel Sick, cause I hadn't when I wrote that. So... New chapter coming soon.**


	4. More Yada Talk

**StarSeal: Squee for new chapter-ness! Thanks for all your nice comments and stoof, It makes me write faster. And no, I refuse to put Dib in this! Unless I go nuts and just cram everyone into a Neo vr. Smith Minions style battle at the end... But I'm too tired to add more characters. So, sorry to crush your dreams. I'm glad you like it anyway, though. Because it seems like the whole time they;ve just stood around talking. M'yep...**

**Oh, and InvaderAngel gets the Special Invader Award for guessing who the I Feel Sick representitive is! Everyone else thought it was Spooky. I love Spooky, but he didn't seem... Very... alive. Yess, so very squeekily not-alive.**

Jhonen walked calmly back into his house after the cramped voot cruiser left. He ordered the hologram to return and picked up his controller, restarting the level of Halo II. "Silly characters," he murmured. "Thinking they can defeat me, _me,_ the Almighty Jhonen." He picked up a Brain Freezy and sipped it contentedly, thinking of his countless fan sites. This made him think of all those horribly twisted fanauthors, the ones who are always filling their stories with icky, sexual content. You know who you are. Zim is not a love-pig, dammit!

As he slowly cleared the level, destroying stuff and picking up, um, ammo, and stuff (am I a Halo expert or what?) he got bored and decided that he might as well return to earth. He gave the order and teleported into his fortress of doom, which remained in the center of his collapsed empire of s---. Boopy and all the other beasts looked up. He wondered why they hadn't asked for more comics. But of course, they'd never had plots to begin with, so they wouldn't need endings. A pig flew by.

Jhonen sat down in his horrible couch, which still smelled of him regardless of what he told Roman, and began nodding off. He thought of how amazingly clever he was, that all his little footnotes the poor, doomed readers overlooked where in fact keys to his unending rule, and wondered what pathetic ideas his lunatic creations were scheming up. Knowing them, they'd come back with mountains of super weapons and put someone like Noodle Boy or Gir in charge.

"Let them come," he told zim-eye-pink walls around him. "I can take anything they throw at me."

"You can tell yourself that, Jhonen, but that won't make it true."

"What? Who the hell said that?"

There was no answer. Jhonen scowled and went into the kitchen. "Stupid voices," he grumbled.

"That's not very nice."

"Okay, who's there?"

"Don't you know me?"

"How the hell would I know that if I don't know who I'm talking to?"

"Ooh, do you want to? Then you'll just have to follow the sound of- oh, dammit…"

There came a tinkle of falling metal and a silver screw rolled across the floor to rest at Jhonen's feet. He lifted it, realizing the connection. "Oh, Sickness! I wondered why Devi wasn't harassing me."

A little doll hopped clumsily out from under the stove. "Yes. Yes, it's me. Now would you mind giving me back my damn eye?"

Jhonen held it out. Sickness felt around the air for a few seconds before touching it. She shoved the screw moodily into her haunted, empty socket and glared at Jhonen. "Thanks," she said, bitterly.

"So," said Jhonen, boredly, "Are you going to tell me why you're here? Do you want a comic too, cause, y'know, it's getting old."

"No, I don't want a comic! If I did I would have told you with the others. No, I'm not mad at you. Why would I be?"

"Because I gave you thirty seven panels outside that painting before I let Devi pin you that canvas with a paintbrush?"

The lid under Sickness' screw twitched. "Yess, I admit that did tick me off a bit, but what the hell? I got an ending. I got a plot. I even got color! What more would I want? I am, after all, the only thing you gave an entire story to."

"What about IT?"

"I'vn't read that either!" Sickness snapped. "Heh? Oh, right- why I'm here. Yess, I'm here because I don't think that killing you is worth a few comics. See, that's all they want. Soo… will you give them comics?"

"What? And submit to the things that wouldn't exist without me? No way!"

"Okay, yeah, I didn't think so.

"And how do you plan to help me?"

"Hmm. Well, considering you're not going to make more comics, I guess all I can do is tell you what they're doing to fight you."

"And how do you know what they're planning?" Jhonen challenged.

Sickness smirked. She tapped her empty right socket. "I put a screw in Gir's head," she said. "Poor fool never noticed."

"Yess, of course you did. See, I knew that you would benefit from having your eyes ripped out. As I've mentionedduring Frycook, I have no flaws."

"What about the Foodening not coming across clearly?"

"Oh, shut up! You sound like an obsessive fan, quoting all my lines from the commentary… the couch smell… peanut choking… Don't shush me!"

"That was Richard. In Nightmare."

"Grr! Just stop talking."

"No, we have things to discuss."

"Ah, so you _do_ want a comic."

"Me? No. I've come to help you. You need to see why everyone's doing this, and how to stop it. You have this really annoying habit of depriving life from your characters. Zim, Nny, Todd, they all had beginnings, and middle, but no end. Noodle boy didn't need either, I suppose, but could have more fun. But the point is, you gave everyone such wonderfully tortured lives! Especially in Invader Zim. But then you just deserted us! And for what! HALO? And Minimoose- He didn't even have a beginning!"

"But you're on my side?"

Of course I am! I don't' hate you like the others, No, I'm very fortunate; I have a beginning, middle, and an end in my story, which is better than the others can boast."

"Hmm. Well, I suppose it'll be nice to have one of you creepy things with me, considering I created you…"

"Precisely. But you need to think about what you're going to do. You know Zim; he never doesn't have an evil plan. And he's got his entire world on his side, remember. Nny, with endless knives, and the help of the Moose and Reverend Meat. All your characters, dumb as they are, have a vast world of schemes. Schemes that YOU gave them. They'll find a way to defeat you."

Jhonen lifted the doll and they stared at each other. He noticed that Sickness' screw were still loose; Devi'd ripped it out really hard. It never occured to Jhonen that he was kind of a jerk to his characters. "But tell me, Sickness, as you said- I gave you so few panels of freedom, which ended miserably. What do you have to gain from helping me?"

Sickness laughed. The screw fell out. "Damn. Anyway, it's not just for you. Think about what would happen if you got killed."

"Wouldn't you all die with me?"

"No! And that's just it! Even if we're just in your head, on your napkins, our adventures are much sweeter then than in the head of the fanficcers. Do you have any idea what those insatiable writers would so? They'd have a field day! Fear of you is all that's keeping half of those sick freaks from twisting us into unrecognizable beasts! I don't want that, and I'm sure that, beneath your revolting, meaty shell, you don't either. And beneath that you just want a slushy. I like slushies. Eh? Oh, right. The plan. Well, before you'd interrupted me-"

"How could I interrupt you when you approached me?"

"-I had been listening to the Rebellion. And they've had some very interesting points."

"Like what?"

"Did you know that the platypus lactates through pores in its belly and, in doing so, feeds its lapping, new-hatched young?"

"Um… I could have gone_without_ knowing that."

"It's true. I think Filler pointed that out. Yeah, but apart from that it's mainly just screamy arguing. And Keef exploding. Is that like, his hobby or something? But yeah, they don't have a plan yet but they will. I know they will. They shall scream and fight and explode and snack, but they will get a plan. And, being made from your mind, they will think like you do- find a weakness and use it to their advantage."

"Okay, so we're doomed. Now I was going to ask you how you expect to help me, but first I want to know how you hear through your eye."

Sickness drew breath to answer, and decided it wouldn't be worth it, and closed her mouth again.

**StarSeal: Ugh, more standing aroung talking. At least we see lots of Sickness, tho. I love Sickness. She has screws for eyes, she's related to Nny's 'Moose', she has really neat-o legs and she got nailed to her frame with a paintbrush. What's not to like? And yes, platypi really do feed their young that way. Don't ask how Filler knows. But It's true. Heh, platypi. Yes, I did make that up. It's my fanfic, my HORRIBLE fanfic, so shut up.**


	5. Mind Tricks and Vomit

**StarSeal: Hmmm... nothing especially special here. No, wai- Gir VOMITS! Whoohoo! Imagine having your own character vomit on you. Heh, vomit. And we get to hear from the two hottest aliens in IZ. Yep. Vomit...**

Sickness sat around for about an hour, listening to their plan. Jhonen got bored and dropped cows on frat houses. When he got back, Sickness was looking irked.

"They've been talking all this time," She said, "And none of them have made the plan clear. But they're all there, discussing it. Every last one, who's not on your side. Even IT and those B.A.C. freaks. They've been discussing any weaknesses you have that you might have given them. They keep talking about 'controlling him because he thinks with what we're made of,' or something like that. Then Gir found the screw and swallowed it, so I couldn't find out anything else."

"Hmm. Well, there's no way they could beat me. Let them come. Let them all come, the freaky freaks. I'm not afraid."

"Are you afraid of anything?"

"I'm afraid of… Wait, no, why should I tell you? You want some fan to hear it?"

"Okay, never mind. So, basically, they are coming here tomorrow morning at dusk, they aren't bringing anyone with them, and they're going to try technique over violence. Do you have a plan?"

"Nope, but let's get tacos."

"Okay."

Fueled by the food of Jhonen's ancestors, the duo stood resolutely in Jhonen's courtyard, waiting for dawn. Jhonen doodled on a napkin. Sickness drove her eye deeper into her head, hoping it wouldn't fall out.

"There," she said suddenly.

Jhonen looked up. Through the morning mist, a group of shadows was making its way slowly towards his fortress. They climbed easily over his wrought iron gates and strode across the courtyard. Jhonen straightened, tossing away his napkin. He took a step forward to meet the rebellion. The two forces stopped a few yards from each other.

"So," Jhonen said, "you've returned. I see you haven't thought to bring more warriors. Bit sad, considering all the people you could have asked. And oh, I see you've even strengthened your weaknesses."

Piñata Monster had a band-aid over his chest, which had healed. Nny was wearing smaller, more comfortable boots. Noodle Boy had a Lady-Sexhole like plate on his forehead. Zim's PAK was secured by a metal cuff that wrapped around his torso. Shmee had found some Nightmare-on-Elm-Street-type finger-knives, and Gir was eating nachos. Filler Bunny still didn't have much to do. Poor little guy.

"Yes," agreed Nny, "And you have not."

"I don't have any weaknesses," Jhonen snapped.

"Yes you do," Replied Shmee. "You're made of flesh."

The bear lunged suddenly foreword and slashed at him. Jhonen kicked him away. He was about to jump again when a rope wrapped around his chest and he was jerked back.

Piñata Monster unwrapped his noose from around the toy. "I told you, we're not doing it that way this time!" He said, irked. Shmee grumbled under his breath.

"Well then," Said Jhonen, thinking about the Pez on his desk inside, "How do you intent to fight us?"

"Us?" repeated Zim. "I see no us."

"Me!" snapped Sickness, hopping foreword.

"Hey, you vaguely remind me of something," said Nny, squinting.

"I was Devi's parasite," snapped Sickness. "Like the Moose in your walls."

"Okay. And… why are you helping Jhonen?"

"Shut up, Johnny! I'm too tired to explain it again."

"And you're short," Zim pointed out.

"Shut up! You're just jealous because your plot was never completed. Now, are we going to fight or just stand around talking?"

"I'd rather just stand around talking," suggested Filler.

"Shut up," snapped Shmee.

"Alright, then," said Nny, "Let's begin! Zim! The plan!'

"Jhonen, prepare to meet- oh, wait."

"What?"

"Um, what was the plan again?"

"Piñata Monster stomped angrily. "Dammit, Zim! Can't you do anything! The plan is- the plan is- Nny, tell him what the plan is."

"I… don't know the plan."

Zim sighed, and gave Jhonen a 'one second' gesture. He pulled a communicator out of his Pak.

"Hello?"

A familiar voice replied, "Hey Zim. Are you there yet?

"Yeah, we're here."

"Good! It took you long enough, you freakin defect…

"Well, it's a long walk!"

"Why didn't you just fly?"

"We could not have just flown! Hmm, maybe, but… No! Stop it!"

"Whatever. Do you have a valid question or do you just want to annoy me with your incompetence?"

"Yeah, we called about the plan."

"Well, what about it?"

"Um, we forgot… what it was."

There was a brief silence. Then, "You forgot… the plan? How the HELL did you do that! We are minutes from victory and have spent hours debating, and you FORGOT THE PLAN?"

"Hey, don't go grumbling your janitorial grumbles on ME, you janitor!"

"Dammit, Zim! How the HELL did you get your own TV show!"

Zim was about to answer scathingly when another, accented voice came over the mike. "Yes, yes, we all hate Zim, Tak, but now is not the time for that! Zim-"

"You all hate me? Why does everyone want to hurt Zim!" Zim started sniffling. Nny impatiently snatched the mike away.

"Both of you, stop messing around! Now tell me the plan, Lard Nar!"

"Okay, okay. It's the, you know, the mind-thingy plan."

"Oh, yeah! I remember now!" He stuffed the mike back into Zim's PAK. "Gir! It's the mind-thingy plan! NOW!"

Gir leapt foreword so he was hardly a foot from Jhonen. Suddenly his red eyes turned green. He slumped, and a pained look crossed his face. His mouth twisted and he suddenly regurgitated a large quantity of blue goo all over Jhonen. Jhonen blinked, wiping some of the stuff off his face and chest. Gir's eyes dimmed, like Mimi's had done when she'd been sprayed with soda, and he took a step backwards.

"Oh, dammit," Nny grunted angrily, striding foreword and kicking Gir out of the way. He stood face to face with Jhonen. The two eyed each other. Nny's eyes were full of a victorious malice.

Jhonen watched as Nny lifted his fingers to his temples and closed his eyes. He was concentrating hard.

"Eh, you're not trying to make my head explode, are you?" Jhonen asked. "Cause that only works in heaven."

Oh, don't worry," said Nny, eyes closed. "That's the LAST thing on my mind."

**StarSeal: Yeah, that's it. Sorry, I'd expected this to be the last chapter. Hmmm... maybe when I'm done I'll re-do it so there are fewer, but longer, chapters. I just figured you all'd like to read it as it comes. Oh, by the way- Since I'm too lazy to edit these when I post them, let me know if you find any errors.**


	6. Battle Mechs

**Okay, to clarify some stuff- I said I wouldn't put any more characters in- that only meant actually confronting Jhonen. Tak, Tess, Keef, Lard Nar… they're all back at the JCV Rebellion base, but only the main characters are there, fighting for what they want. And any other characters I might actually show don't count unless they fought. Also, I never said I won't add more main characters, I just said that, for Invader Zim, there were already two, so I can still use Anne or Wobbly Headed Bob or someone. Muhuhahaha, quail at my twisted logic.**

Jhonen stared as Nny began to grind his teeth, concentrating hard. Nothing happened for a moment. Sickness squinted. She suddenly realized that her screw was lying in the goo, where Gir'd thrown it up. She wiped off the stuff and pushed in her socket. Bored by Nny's mind games, Jhonen let himself be distracted and glanced at the doll. Just then, almost subconsciously, he noticed that his finger twitched. He blinked and glanced at his hand. Nny opened his eyes.

"It worked!" Piñata Monster clenched his nubs in victory.

"Of course it did! It was chosen by the most elite scientists in the galaxy!" Zim did his dopey little teeth-out smile.

"Actually, I think it was Tess's idea," mused Shmee.

"Never mind whose idea it was, it works!" Filler clapped his nubs.

"What works?" asked Jhonen impatiently.

"We are part of your mind," explained Nny.

"So?"

"So… we can do this!" Nny clenched his fists and squinted at Jhonen. Jhonen's fingers suddenly curled loosely.

"I still don't get it…"

"We are part of your mind, you lizard!" Shmee said, irked. "We can make you do stuff!"

The rebels bent their heads and concentrated. Jhonen slugged himself. "Oh, I get it!" He said, catching on. "But that was only because I didn't know what you were doing! You all are so proud that you can never win- your plans are always just waiting to spill out!" He laughed.

The rebels again took on their mind-controly pose: fists clenched, eyes half open, teeth gnashing… But now Jhonen was ready. Two against six, the parties matched minds.

"I… will get you," Nny growled. "The weakest mind fails first, and we're a greater force…"

"Never, Johnny… I am… so amazing…"

In his peripheral vision, he noticed that Sickness was looking almost happy. She must be thrilled to finally invade someone else's mind again. But that didn't matter now, all that mattered was…

Noodle Boy suddenly punched himself in the head. He fell backwards. Distracted, the minds all relaxed, retreating back into their respective heads.

"Okay, so it would have worked," Filler said, trying to be optimistic.

"Well… there's always plan B!" Zim said, in his usual dauntless way.

"Yeah, MY plan B!" Shouted Jhonen. "Take this!" In one leap, he landed ten feet behind where he was standing. The ground quaked and a skull-like robot reared up. A pipe slithered out and lifted Sickness up besides him. Grinning manically, he grasped two control sticks and began pushing their buttons.

Two more coiling pipes rose up, aimed at the rebels, and drenched them all in thick, green goop. There was a chorus of 'ew's and Jhonen spun the robot around, where it went bounding off.

"After him!" Nny shouted, wiping goop from his eyes.

Jhonen's robot was moving very fast. "You see, Sickness?" He asked, cackling, "when I invented this thing, I knew that I could someday use it if a host of rebels showed up demanding comics."

"Mm-hmm. That's great. But they're following us now."

Jhonen glanced back. A giant, red robot was trotting towards him. It was a Megadoomer. The two robots drew level, both mechanical, two-legged thingies. He wondered why it wasn't invisible. He swerved his own mech around, lifting powerful lasers to strike his opponent- probably Zim or Gir. The Megadoomer exploded in a fiery ball. Jhonen jumped out of his craft, triumphant. To his surprise, it was Filler Bunny who crawled from the smoldering wreckage. He laughed twice, coughed up blood, and moaned.

"Why are you laughing?" Sickness had hopped down besides him. "Your robot is destroyed and you never even hit us."

"That's cause the Megadoomer was just a distraction!"

Jhonen frowned. "Alright then, what was it distracting us from?"

The ground shook, and the two spun just in time to see a Frontline BattleMech's massive 'foot' crush the skeleton-walker. Jhonen cussed. A coiling pipe shot out of the Mech and sucked up Filler. Jhonen watched as it raised its gun to aim. He called on his amazing, ever-present Jhonen-computer. "Activate Super-Painful Mega Combat Ridiculously Massive Battle Mech!"

A huge metal tube flew out of the Earth and clamped over Sickness and Jhonen. It receded into the ground and a huge robot erupted out. It was as tall as the Frontline, but thinner, with pinscher arms and clawed boots. It looked a lot like Zim's old Nanoship, actually, but not as spiky. More compact and sturdy. The two Mechs seemed to tense, ready for a really cool battle. The kind that gives your TV shows good ratings. That kind. Inside the Frontline, the pilots were working furiously, powering up projectile weapons and stuff. The Vortians had helped remake one so it only took a few pilots.

Zim was sulky because he wasn't driving. Nny had that job. He was the only one they all trusted not to screw up. Still, the crazed Irken wanted the new comics enough to submit for once.

Inside the SPMCRMB Mech Jhonen and Sickness were also twisting knobs and pulling levers. The two super-weapons were ready.

**StarSeal: Mm, Megadoomer. Yep. Stop acting like they can't rebuild their robots. And the Halloweeny Goo- the stuff that doesn't hurt them, they just don't like it. I love that stuff... Filler got to use a dangerous weapon!**


	7. When Good Guys go BOOM

**StarSeal: Thank you all- specially Invader Johnny and Invading Angel, but everyone else, too- for your wonderful comment-ness! I really appreciate it.**

Jhonen cackled evilly at the Front Line. He was having a lot of fun.

"Sickness! Power up the Doom Lasers! We'll show those little mind invaders not to mess with JHONEN!"

"Yes, sir!"

Sickness punched in a button and ran her nubby hand down a touch-action control pad. A band across the SPMCRMB began to light up.

"They're going to use their laser," Nny commented. "Zim! Use your mighty Irken knowledge to tell me what we combat that with?"

Zim thought a moment. "How about… OUR laser! Heh, yeah, I think we only have lasers anyway… what else do we use in space? Plasma, maybe…"

"Okay, laser! Now stop talking. Let's see… how about…"

He looked across his weapon board. Doom Laser, Power Laser, Vampire Piggy Laser, Squid Laser, Laser Cannon, Doom Cannon, Filler Cannon, Plasma Laser, Halloween Goo…

"Um, shouldn't we hurry it up? His laser is still charging-" Piñata Monster's voice was cut off by a yelp as the SPMCRMB's laser blasted into the Frontline. The latter staggered back, and Nny randomly selected the Squid Laser. Because he didn't know what it did.

Huge balls of blue energy flew onto the SPMCRMB, wrapping tendrils about it and zapping its energy. Jhonen ground his teeth. He hated it when people used squids against him.

Nny bit his lip. The laser squid attack had taken a lot of their laser power. While it recharged, he searched for an attack that didn't involve lasers. Already knowing Halloween Goo didn't do much, he pressed Filler Cannon.

A giant tube came from the ceiling. It looked like the final cannon sweep tube from Battle of the Planets- the one Skoodge used. Filler blinked up at it. Suddenly, it began sucking in air, and Filler Bunny was sucked right up. The rebels watched as the Frontline raised its arm/cannon and fired. A screaming pink thing went zooming into the Mech to splat against its 'abdomen'. They found themselves stifling laughs. Poor Filler.

"What just hit us?" Jhonen stared at a bleeping monitor that suggested there was a new object on his SPMCRMB Mech.

"Uh, it looks like… Ha! It's Filler Bunny!"

The two began cackling with mad laughter.

Jhonen thought a moment. "We have about twenty seconds before they decide what to use and fire it," he said. "Let's take em out."

"Yes, sir!" Sickness said eagerly.

Jhonen suddenly turned. "Would you stop that? You're sounding like a damn SIR."

"Sorry."

"Now hit those suckers!" He laughed. Sickness cast him an odd look. He was laughing a lot. It was a little disturbing. She'd never seen him so happy. Either way, she opened the command screen and began selecting full artillery. It was a touch screen, like the Massive's when it fired at the Resisty. Whatever those are… called.

Speaking of Resisty, there was a rather Resisty-like moment in the cockpit as the giant laser powered up. Lots of nummy Jhonen-style screaming.

Shmee left his post. "Nny! We have to evacuate the ship!"

Noodle Boy scowled. "But we still have laser!"

"Shmee's right!" Nny sighed. "They'll destroy us before we ever fire. Come on, let's go!"

The Frontline's windshield rolled up as escape pods zoomed out, just as a massive blast form the SPMCRMB blew it up. The pods crashed unceremoniously behind the wreckage, spewing their pilots.

"Ha! Pitiful characters!" Cackled Jhonen. "And now I shall destroy them all… every last one."

"What about Filler?"

"Oh, that freak couldn't hurt anyone if you gave him a chainsaw and two nukes," shrugged Jhonen. "Especially not of my ship. The only thing he could possibly do was push some buttons to make it explode or something."

Sickness blinked. "What?"

"You know, pushing the self-destruct button in the main engine chamber," he said. "Oh, shi…"

Sickness groaned. She jumped up and began rushing to the engine chamber. At the door, she stopped to yell back, "Why the HELL do all you cartoonists feel the need to equip every robot with a self-destruct button!"

"Oh, just deactivate it."

"Yes, sir!"

"Dammit, Sickness, would you knock that off? You sound like a bloody SIR unit!"

"Sorry."

Sickness burst into the engine room just in time. A pink shadow was running towards a big pedestal with a huge red button on it. The button had a happy face. I don't see way every self-destruct button is big and red and on a pedestal.

"Freeze, Filler! You don't have a chance!"

Filler stopped and spun around. His black eyes widened in fear.

"Y'know, I never liked you," Sickness said, advancing menacingly. "Always there, in the back of my stories, spoiling the goodness with your pathetic whining. I'm really looking foreword to finishing this." She reached behind her back. "Prepare for your doom!"

Sickness whipped out a pointed paintbrush, the same one that she'd tugged out of her belly. She whirled it above her head and lunged forth.

Clang!

But instead off sinking pleasingly into soft bunnymeats, the paintbrush hit something hard and the shockwaves reverberated around the room. Sickness stepped back, looked over her brush, and looked at Filler. In his nubs was a long, rusty, twisted spike of metal. He looked surprised as she did that he'd blocked the blow. He grinned.

"Where'd you get that?" Sickness asked.

"Nail Bunny. Take this!"

The two lunged foreword, swinging their odd swords with powerful strokes. The dull thunks of wood on iron echoed around the chamber. Thrust, parry, lunge… I know nothing of sword fights… and it was getting almost monotonous until the paintbrush splintered! Haha! Filler turned from his fallen opponent and dashed to the pedestal. He snapped the blood-rusted nail against the metal floor and used the spikes to grapple his way up to the big red button, slammed the points into it, and…!

BOOM!

The SPMCRMB had just raised its charged laser, aiming it at he downed rebels, when the whole thing sent out a power wave and blew up.

Gir clapped his hands excitedly. "I like pretty colors!"

Conveniently enough, Sickness and Filler landed amongst their own allies.

Jhonen jumped up. He was laughing harder than ever. "Don't you see! I'm so madly insane, not even you crazy explodey robots can hurt me! I have the souls of over a shmillion doomed fans on my side! Muhuhahahaha!"

Okay, I admit I don't know how Jhonen would laugh.

"Yeah, well, you know what…" Noodle Boy paused a moment. Then he grabbed Shmee by the head and threw him against Piñata Monster. "Beware me, wombat brethren! I have concocted cancer!"

Shmee hit Piñata Monster's broad belly so hard that one of his oddly shaped eyes fell out. He fell to the ground, pushed his eye back in, and glared at Noodle Boy.

"Damn, Noodle Boy!"

"Ha! My amazing Jhonen-ness has turned you against yourselves!"

"Um, you're laughing a lot, Jhonen," Commented Sickness.

"That's because I'm so happy!"

Sickness looked a bit spooked.

"And you know what else?" asked Nny. "We brought a crazed fan and a bee-shaped hammer! Hut-cha!"

Nny threw the person down on the ground and smashed his head with the hammer. Don't worry, kiddies, he was a crazed fan. Numbed by the presence of Jhonen.

Jhonen started laughing so hard he was shaking, harder and harder and…

Zim leapt up, punching the air in triumph. "INVASION!"

Everyone else I the rebel team did likewise.

Jhonen realized something was up too late. With a laughing, shaking "Huh?" he suddenly popped like a giant meat balloon. The eight characters rushed to the area where he'd exploded. A moment later, all the Jhonen-matter flew back into place.

"Curse you," he mumbled, and collapsed.

Nny blinked. "It… it worked! A Jhonen-style plan actually worked!"

The rebels whooped and cheered. After a few minutes they got bored of their own laughter and stared down at their motionless creator.

"Well, he'll be out like that for a few weeks, I think," said Zim.

"Should we do anything?" Asked Piñata Monster.

"Nah, let's go eat snacks." Yawned Shmee.

They whooped like Tallests and walked off.

TWO AND A HALF WEEKS LATER

Sickness sat idly beside Jhonen, staring boredly into the distance. Suddenly, she saw him stir. He pushed himself up, looking vaguely confused.

"What happened?"

"Um, they concocted a plan involving huge, unnecessary steps to lure you into a false sense of insane laughter after being splashed with Happy Popping Juice," replied Sickness calmly.

"Ah. Well, I'm glad you cleared that up." Jhonen stretched. "Eh, I'm going to bed."

He walked off and into his empire of $h1t. Sickness watched him go. She felt a sudden happy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She laughed. She laughed harder. The entire ludicrous weight of her existence was crashing down and she had nothing to do but laugh it off. Harder and harder, the two laughed, until they got bored, and Sickness and Minimoose hop/floated away.

_It is done!_

StarSeal: Yay! It's finished! Sigh, Too bad it couldn't end as well as it began. I d8unno, I wanted to see the Frontline one last time, and so I added that big robot sequence, and that's not organized… And I just got monotonous with the Filler/Sickness fight; I just thought it'd be neat to have a sword fight with pin-you-to-stuff objects. And I wanted to see Filler in all his glory. Squee. Yeah… thanks to… I think Danielle for writing Return of Keef and creating Happy Popping Juice. If any of you saw that coming, you get Special Invader Awards. Gir vomiting on Jhonen, the vomit being blue, the maniacal Jhonen-laughing… wasn't too vague, was it? Yeah, so that's my story. Threw Minimoose in the end because I didn't think Sickness should have to laugh by herself.


End file.
